Have you ever had someone say or do something that just made you uncomfortable, but didn’t want to say anything to avoid conflict? It is always important to advocate for yourself and set a boundary when things that make us uncomfortable arise. Setting boundaries does not have to involve conflict and sometimes the other person does not know that a specific thing may bother us unless we let them know. It is a form of self-respect and taking control of your life.
When to set a boundary:
-When something bothers you
-Being called a name you don’t appreciate
-Experiencing physical aggression from anyone
-When something makes you uncomfortable
-Comfort level of something
-Everyone has different boundaries and that is okay! You cannot assume other people’s boundaries
Ways to set boundaries:
“I don’t appreciate when you say/do ______”
“I can see that you’re upset, but there is no need for name-calling.”
“I can see that you’re frustrated, but I don’t appreciate ________.”
“It really bothers me when you __________. How can we change this?”
– Follow through with “I need this _______.”
Specifically for kids
– I know you’re (emotion), but I am not for hitting.
– I know you’re (emotion), but I am not for name-calling.
It’s important to validate emotions and then set a boundary to teach your children that they are allowed to feel said emotion, but also that they are not allowed to do the specific behavior.
You’re important – Advocate for yourself!